Contents
Introduction
We are emotional creatures. So, what makes us special or differentiates us from other creatures? It’s our ability to experience life through a variety of emotional lens.
Life is an emotional roller coaster. Through these emotional lenses, we can create amazing memories and it’s what makes life more interesting.
However, some emotions can be a double-edged sword. This means it can serve us well when interpreted the right way, or it can limit us from achieving our full potential.
Yes, you guessed right! The emotion that I am referring to here is: “FEAR”.
We all have fears, it can be:
- Fear of Heights
- Fear of Success
- Fear of Rejection
- Fear of Looking Stupid
You get the point. Fear comes in many forms and it’s important to know that we all have fears, but what’s important is how we handle them.
When faced with fear, we either:
- Fight
- Flight
- Freeze
If you are one who fights during fearful times, you are in the right mindset whether you know it. But if you are one who chooses the ”Flight” or ”Freeze” option, then you have a problem.
The response would stop you from living life or just achieve your full potential. For example, asking your crush out on a date or trying to land an interview from your dream employer or job.
With that being said, in this article, we will look into some exercises and tips on how you can overcome your fears and take control of your life back.
Taking Full Ownership Of Your Life
”When you are fearless, life becomes limitless‘’
Whenever I am fearful of something, I would recite the quote above. It reminds me of the untapped potential that I’d have if I were to live life to the fullest and be afraid of nothing.
So, in this section of this article, Let’s look at ”Why” you want to be fearless in your chosen area. Why? With anything you do, it’s important to understand your ”Why” and get motivated to take action.
Only after understanding your ”Why” we’ll get into strategies you can use to help overcome your fears.
Exercise:
In this section, I want you to think about the quote above.
Next, think about your fears and visualize that you are fearless. See how much better life can be when you are fearless:
- How many years ahead would you be in your life?
- The experience you would gain?
- The progress you made in life, etc.
Example,
Fear of finding a new career or business venture.
Fearful me: Remain at the same job, complain, etc.
Fearless me: jump and try a new career/ business without second-guessing myself.
- If I succeed = I reap the rewards (more income).
- If I fail = I make a loss, but I gain experience and learn a new skill.
But the major benefit here is that you are making progress. So, let’s say you fail, at the very least you now learn something about yourself.
The experience you gain from the venture can be useful in making further progress, or you now know that the career/business/industry does not suit you. So, you can move on with life and try other things.
Instead of wondering about your life, ”what if I took that opportunity, will I be in a better spot in my career?”. Then 5, 10, 20 years pass and you’re still wondering.
If only you tried 10 years ago, you would have got an answer and kept it moving until you get what you want. Might as well try now.
Remember, your progress is disguised as failures. So do not be quick to feel defeated.
Freedom, Freedom, and Freedom!
Now, that you are more motivated to face your fears and see your life from the perspective of your fearless self. Fear can overwhelm, so before we learn to overcome them we must first reduce the power it has over us.
Let’s reduce the power it has over us in this section:
Step 1: Listing Your Biggest Fears
So you want to list your top 10 biggest fears on a certain subject.
Example,
Fear of Success
Top 10 Biggest Fears:
- Fear of people trying to take advantage
- Fear of the bigger responsibilities that I may have from having success
- Etc
Step 2: Understanding Where This Fear Is Coming From
The next thing you want to do is understand the origins of these fears. It could be something you experienced when you were younger or something that you saw.
Example,
Fear of people trying to take advantage of my success
Maybe when you were younger, you had a successful uncle whom you looked up to. But he was too kind to his family members that they always took advantage of him.
Whenever faced with some money problems, other family members always go to him and ask for a handout. Instead of trying to solve the problem themselves and repaying back the debt.
While your successful uncle works hard, every day up to this day, and even on holidays.
Step 3: Reframing The Fear
Next, you want to take the reason for your fear and reframe them into something that is less stressful or overwhelming to you. But you want to ensure that we reframe it in a way that is logical.
Example,
Fear of people trying to take advantage of my success
First, I’m looking too far into the future, I need to worry about getting to the destination first. Second, just because my sister is a pushover doesn’t mean I need to be one.
I can just say ”NO” to those who don’t want to help themselves. Or give them a chance to use my money to get back up then figure out a solution to the problem if it occurs again. Ensuring that they not just use me out of convenience.
If they refuse to cooperate, then I can just clarify that I will cut them out of my life.
The reason for going through these 3 steps is so that your fears will become less overwhelming. As it becomes less overwhelming, it will become easier to take further steps to overcome them.
Take Action, Action, and Action
The previous section is essential to this section because by making your fearless overwhelming. It will then be easier to take action.
We all wish there was a secret to overcoming fear, but the only way to overcome a fear is through taking action and repetition. Through repetition, we can develop certainty, which gives us more confidence to do a certain task/activity.
For example,
Afraid of taking planes
After taking the plane for the first time, we realize that it isn’t so bad. Then the second time will be easier and the 3rd time will be easier and so on.
And the more you take planes, the more comfortable we get, and then we realize that the likeliness of a plane crashing is 1 in a million.
However, it is taking the first few steps that are hard. So here are some tips you can use to help you take the first few actions:
1. Meditation
Through meditation, we learn to be more mindful of our surroundings. By learning to be in the present moment we keep our mind from wandering around and focused on the present.
This helps in reducing the thoughts from going wild and coming up with the fear that is not real or unrealistic. Instead, focus on the task at hand.
2. Embracing Failure
Understand that when we venture into something new, we’ll ”SUCK” at the beginning and you have to give ourselves a chance to ”SUCK” as it is part of learning.
If you don’t take action now, then time will pass and you will still not learn anything. Might as well take action now and learn from it.
3. Relax
Again, learning to meditate will be helpful here too. As you feel anxious or stressed from doing a certain task. You want to calm yourself down and through meditation, we can do that.
4. It’s All In The Mind
Most things that we worry about are not real or are less likely to happen. First, let’s try to look at things logically. Then, see if the fear is something that puts you into real danger.
Example,
Is asking that girl for her number = the end of the world for you? NO!
Does she say ”NO” make me look stupid? Maybe… but if I don’t ask, I won’t get it.
5. Control What You Hear and See
If we surround ourselves with negative people and negativity (News, Social Media, etc.) Our view of things is negative. Instead, surround yourself with positive and successful people.
By doing so, you will be more positive and more confident with yourself.
Well, that is all from me in this article. I hope that this article is helpful to you and remember ”Life Becomes Limitless When You Are Fearless”.
